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  • Writer's pictureTwin Candor

You Know You Are in a Bad Relationship When...

All couples disagree on certain topics. As a psychologist, I have heard quite a few disagreements in couples therapy sessions. And, of course, counselors and psychologists have disagreements with their own own partners. Learning how to disagree respectfully and fight fairly strengthens relationships. I have seen relationships transformed when couples learn how to disagree without tearing each other down. Most counselors and psychologists will tell you there are a number of signs your relationship is not healthy. Check out the following article on relationships heading into dangerous territory.

You Know You are in a Bad Relationship When….

By Twin Candor of

Relationships are tough. Once the romance and newness wear off, you’re going to fight. We’re not against couples fighting; we worry about couples who never fight. And let’s be clear, there’s a lot to fight about: financial stress, flirty coworkers, children, stepchildren, stressful jobs, in-laws… But how do you know if your relationship is simply going through a rough patch OR if you are in a bad relationship that needs to end?

There are some obvious signs that you need to get out of a relationship. Physical and emotional abuse are deal breakers. Sure, ugly words can feel abusive and need to be addressed, but we’re not suggesting you should end a relationship because you haven’t learned to fight fairly yet. We’re far more concerned by demeaning and damaging words which are repeated whenever fights arise.

The following is a list of concerning relationship problems. If they sound familiar, you need to examine your relationship and ask yourself if you and your partner are in a bad place or if you are in a bad relationship. The following signs cannot be ignored and cannot become a relationship pattern. If these signs are present in your relationship, you will need thoughtful communication with your partner and possibly a good therapist to determine which path to take.

You know you’re in a bad relationship when:

• Your partner has you under surveillance and you are in trouble if you don’t answer a text message immediately or if you get home 20 minutes late from the grocery store. • You consistently feel worse rather than better after spending time with your partner. • Your partner calls you 40 times in 30 minutes. • Your partner shares personal details with an ex but not with you. • Your partner mistreats or insults your parents without justification. • You’ve been together more than a year and your partner has never said “I’m sorry”. • Your partner pokes you in the chest with a finger during an argument. • Your partner thinks having sex with somebody else is acceptable if you are not providing adequate amounts of it. • Your partner forbids you from spending time alone with friends or family. • Your partner sabotages your success. • You’ve never met anyone in your partner’s family. • Your partner is a serial cheater, duh.

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